REMEMBRANCE Read online

  “Is there anything wrong dear?” Bertie asked, “You look as if you had something on your mind.”

  She had caught Maria off guard. Could she read minds now as well? “Err no…” She didn’t want to say anything about the young woman she had just seen, “I… err was just wondering what you and Margaret did during the day?”

  Bertie’s eyes stared at her sharply; then, suddenly, as if she became aware of her odd behaviour, they softened. She knew that there was no plausible answer to her granddaughter’s remark that she could give; at least, none that would satisfy her curiosity without giving anything away. So, instead of humouring her, she chose to change the subject.

  “Margaret and I will be dining at the Fosters tonight; it’s something we do most Mondays. Would you care to join us dear?” Bertie asked, adding hastily, “I will quite understand if you don’t. They are a couple of ladies my age and we drink far too much sherry and play cards quite poorly.” She sounded as if wanting to intentionally plant the seed to a boring evening, so that Maria would want to stay at Whitmore.

  “If you don’t mind, Gran—that’s if it’s alright with you—could I possibly give it a miss?” she asked, pressing a hand to her temple, for her headache suddenly started getting worse.

  “Of course dear, you would probably be bored senseless by our gossiping,” she laughed, her eyes glinting. “Are you feeling alright dear, you do look awfully pale? I do hope that you’re not getting ill?”

  Maria was convinced that she saw her gran smile at her discomfort; she had the distinct feeling that she was hoping that Maria would not accompany her at her outing.

  “It is just a headache; nothing a quiet night in won’t cure,” she replied.

  “Oh that’s a shame dear! Well, you get yourself an early night and I’m sure you will feel better in the morning.”

  There it was again—the undercurrent to her words. Maria wondered why her gran would behave so oddly. She hoped that she wasn’t becoming a burden to the old lady.

  Bertie and Margaret departed much earlier than Maria thought they would; it was not yet one in the afternoon. She had all but convinced herself that she would go and explore the house to see if the ghost woman she had seen would appear again, but instead she took the opportunity to retire back to her room. Her head felt as if it might split and, after taking a couple of painkillers she’d found at the bottom of her bag, she collapsed onto her bed. She wondered if she might be starting to get migraines, for the pain got much worse. She closed her eyes against the brightness of the room, and when that didn’t help; she pulled the heavy quilt over her head to block it out completely.

  “Miss Austin, are you still in your bed? Must have been a fine ball last night to keep you here this late,” the young woman’s voice filtered through the covers.

  Very slowly, Maria lowered the blankets, just enough for her eyes to peer over the top. Bella stood in her plain brown dress and white apron, her black hair scraped back from her blotchy red face and the blackness of her teeth just showing through a slight smile.

  “Bella—is that you?” she said her name almost questioningly.

  “Oh Miss, you know that it is always me that attends to you.”

  Maria screwed her eyes up tightly, just as she had done the night before at the young woman’s appearance. She was dead, that’s what it was. She had slipped away in her sleep and this was heaven. That thought had her smiling, for that meant that Tom would be in heaven too and they could be together for eternity.

  “Will you be getting up today, Miss?” Bella carried on, not seeming to notice her mistress’s strange behaviour, “’Tis fine out… Oh, and I almost forgot, this message came for you from Nedgely Hall.”

  Maria looked at the small folded paper in Bella’s outstretched hand, “For me?” She sounded a little confused.

  “Yes Miss, if you ask me, it will be from Mr Bradley,” she smiled confidently at Maria.

  Maria recalled the last night’s events, which brought back the strong feelings Thomas conjured in her. For a moment, she thought that she was going to faint. Tom had sent her a message. This information started her pulse racing.

  “Thank you Bella,” she said a little shakily as she took the fine satiny paper. The young woman hovered as if waiting for instructions. “Is there anything else?” Maria asked her with a frown.

  “No Miss… I was just waiting to see what reply you would have me send back?”

  “Reply?”

  “To the letter, Miss.”

  After looking at the letter in her hand nervously for a while, Maria finally eased the red wax seal from its flap, opened it and started to read.

  Dear Miss Austin,

  If it is not too much inconvenience, I was hoping that I might have the pleasure of your company this afternoon. I have just acquired a new mare and I wanted to try her out on a ride to Nedgely ravine. You may send your reply with my manservant. If you are able to honour me with your presence, I shall endeavour to call upon you at two o’clock.

  Yours

  Thomas Bradley.

  It took several seconds for the words to sink in. Tom wanted to see her this afternoon! Oh my, if she could still her beating heart for a second, she might be able to put two thoughts together.

  “Miss?” Bella interrupted.

  Maria looked up, a blank expression on her face, “Mmm.”

  “Your reply Miss?”

  Reply? Oh yes, she needed to respond. No telephones! She had forgotten about that detail. She glanced at the letter again.

  “Is Mr Bradley’s man still here?” Maria enquired.

  “Yes Miss.”

  “What time is it now?”

  “It is ten and one of the clock, Miss,” Bella informed her.

  “Ten and one,” she mulled it over in her head before concluding that it probably meant ten past one. Alarmed that she had so little time to prepare, she rushed the girl, “Quick Bella, we have no time to lose. I must get ready and please inform Mr Bradley’s man that I will meet with Mr Bradley… Hurry… Hurry!” Bella began to move, as requested. “And Bella, could you have word sent to the stables for a horse to be made ready for me.”

  Bella smiled at her mistress’s unusual politeness as she rushed from the room. She returned five minutes later, all flushed and out of breath.

  “You will be wanting your riding outfit, Miss.”

  Maria nodded in agreement, as she stripped of her night attire, exposing her slim figure. She slipped into the dark blue outfit. It fitted as if it were made for her, clinging to the shape of her body in all the right places, enhancing her feminine curves. To finish, a small matching bonnet was placed upon the loose curls of her golden hair. She was completely unaware that she was the picture of loveliness. As she stood before the large mirror, the heightened colour in her cheeks and the glint in her green eyes made here even more radiant than usual.

  “There Miss, and you still have a few minutes before Mr Bradley arrives.”

  “Thank you Bella,” she said, a little relieved that she’d had the young woman’s help.

  “You’re welcome, Miss.”

  Bella curtsied and excused herself from the room, leaving Maria alone. Her heart was racing wildly. The thought that she was to spend the afternoon with the very handsome Thomas Bradley brought about a mixture of nerves and excitement. Her hands had become sticky from clenching, then unclenching them and her face even more flushed, as she paced the floor, waiting for the appointed time. Finally, she heard the knock upon the solid wood of the entrance door, its sound echoing through the great hall. She stood perfectly still until she heard footsteps approach her room. When a knock sounded against her door, she jumped and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. Why was she feeling so… so stupid? He was just a man. Had they not been friends for a long time? She tried to slow down her breathing.

  “Mr Bradley is waiting in the drawing room, Miss,” the butler announced.

  “Thank you, Joseph.”

  She ma
de her way through the hall to the drawing room door, where she paused to regain her composure before she entered. “Calm down M; just breathe,” she tried to calm herself down.

  He was standing with his back towards her, dressed in a well cut black riding jacket and britches, complete with dark brown leather knee-high boots. He turned at the sound of the door opening. His blue eyes scanned her body with admiration before returning to her eyes. He held her gaze for a few seconds before breaking the eye contact with a bow.

  “Miss Austin.”

  “Mr Bradley,” she replied.

  His friendly smile enhanced the contours of his face and he looked even more handsome than she remembered him to be from the night before. He took the few steps towards her.

  “Are you ready to depart?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she replied a little breathlessly.

  He held out his arm and she placed her hand upon the soft fabric of his sleeve to be led out onto the sweeping driveway at the front of the house.

  The beautiful brown mare pawed at the ground in her haste to be away; she flicked her mane and neighed loudly at her new master’s approach.

  “Shush, Cleara,” he soothed the magnificent animal, as he gently stroked the side of her head. He turned towards Maria. “Is she not the most handsome horse you have seen?” His voice was full of expectation, as if asking for her approval.

  “She… she is very fine, Mr Bradley. I am sure that such a fine beast will make an excellent ride.”

  He continued to stroke his new prize. “She was as smooth as they come on our journey over,” he added, his voice exuding pride.

  She smiled her approval when her attention was diverted by the enormous black stallion that was being led up the drive towards them. Suddenly, her mind started racing.

  “Blaze?” she exclaimed in disbelief, as the elegant black head came level with her face.

  The stallion nuzzled against her, blowing down his nose. He gave the impression that he was pleased to see her. She, too, found him familiar, even though she couldn’t remember how she knew him; she just knew that she did. It was confusing; her mind was whirling around with all these memories. The longer she spent in this time the more the world that she knew began to fade.

  Thomas lifted her into the saddle and she hooked her leg over the bar that would steady her. As she sat elegantly on the side, the blue of her outfit spread across the silky black rump of the stallion, which danced a little in his eagerness to run freely. Suddenly nervous, she clung to the reins.

  “Shush there, Blaze,” Thomas spoke softly, noticing Maria’s nervousness; he looked up at her from where he stood, “Are you alright?”

  She tried to smile, but Blaze started to move again, and Thomas had to hold onto the reins in an attempt to steady him.

  “Miss Austin, are you really alright with this?” he asked, clearly concerned.

  “It has been a long time, Mr Bradley, but I am sure that it will be fine.”

  She was sure that her heart must have doubled its speed as she now sat atop this huge animal. It had been a great many years since she had last ridden; her mother had encouraged her to go to the local riding school and she had taken to it like a duck to water, but she had only been ten at the time. Still, she was sure that, once she relaxed, she would be fine.

  Blaze moved sharply again and she let out a little squeal.

  “Miss Austin?” Thomas enquired again.

  She smiled nervously, “I am fine, Mr Bradley.”

  Reluctantly, he released the rains and waited a few seconds to make sure the frisky stallion didn’t make a bolt for it. When he was happy, he mounted his own horse and slowly guided both their mounts down the driveway. Thomas noted that Sir John had ordered his groom to accompany them. So much for him wanting to have M all to himself today, he mused. Yet, when Sir John had insisted that they watched the sunrise unchaperoned, he knew that his good fortune couldn’t last. After all, Sir John still had to abide by the rules of the society, even if Thomas was the one escorting his niece. When they were out of earshot of the servants and the groom had settled to a respectable distance behind them, he turned slightly in his saddle, so that he could see Maria when he spoke.

  “Did you not ride when you were at your finishing school?”

  She would have laughed at the comment if her fear would let her. Instead, she was still holding on to the reins so tightly that her knuckles ached and her entire body was as stiff as a board.

  “Should I take your silence as a ‘no’?”

  “Pray forgive me, Tom, it really has been a long time; I assure you that I shall be quite fine in a moment.”

  He suddenly smiled at her discomfort, “Maybe we shall just stay to the lower land for today?” he suggested, glancing at her face. “I mean, just until you become familiar with Blaze again.”

  “Yes, of course, if you think that it is best.”

  He suddenly laughed, for he could not contain his amusement any longer and she shot him a stern look.

  “And what, pray, is so amusing?”

  “Please forgive me M, but it is a little strange to see you so… so…!”

  “So—what?”

  “Well… You used to ride as if you were born in the saddle and now…”

  “And now… I feel as if I have never ridden before,” she said sadly.

  He fell silent. What had they done to her at that school that had taken all the wildness out of her? He could feel his anger rise at what they must have put her through, just to turn her into marriage material for some wealthy bachelor. With her accomplishments by the dozen and her polite ‘yes sir,’ ‘no sir,’ they would only see her as a pretty face, something elegant to hang off their arm, but they would never truly know her inner beauty as he did. He hadn’t been lying last night when he told her that, if he met the right woman, he would marry. He would ask for her hand himself if he really believed that she returned his feelings. Still, he had to be sure that she did before he would approach Sir John.

  Although it took a little while, eventually, her body began to relax and she started to rock with Blaze’s movements. She was finally starting to enjoy it and her confidence had started to return. She had noticed that Tom kept watching her; he had grown quiet and she so very much wanted to know what had caused the frown on his brow.

  “Shall we canter over to that group of trees?” she suggested rather unexpectedly.

  Tom swung round to look at her. “What?”

  “I will race you, Thomas Bradley!”

  She laughed as she kicked a heel into the stallion’s side and it shot off at speed.

  “M… M, are you mad?” he shouted at her departing back, urging his own horse forward to catch up.

  The wind blew on her face. Her small bonnet had slipped down the back of her head and now flapped wildly in the wind. It was all coming back to her—the freedom and pure joy that riding the open fields brought. She could hear the rhythmical sound of the hooves against the ground, the blood rushing through her veins as the adrenalin spurred her on, and she finally felt more alive than she had ever done.

  Thomas was hot on her heels; his own ride snorted and tore at the dry ground in her efforts to catch the wild stallion. His concern for M’s safety was soon replaced by the thrill of the race as he urged the mare on. They were almost head-to-head when they reached the perimeter of the small wooded area. Her face was flushed and she was laughing happily as she dismounted from her horse, trying to catch her breath.

  Thomas arrived shortly after and brought Cleara to a halt at their side. Jumping from the saddle to stand before the M that he remembered, he admired her wild beauty—her hair falling in their loose curls and the mischief shinning in her eyes.

  “Why Tom, I do believe that I won.”

  “That is not fair; I was at a disadvantage, you started without any warning!”

  “Well, I do declare you a bad looser, Mr Bradley,” she laughed.

  “And I declare you, Miss Austin, a cheat.”

/>   He watched the way she tossed her hair as she stood her ground before him.

  “Well, Mr Bradley, how can you say such a thing?” she scorned innocently.

  He didn’t reply; he just watched the way her face held the air of the child he used to know, the naughtiness of her mouth as she giggled in triumph at her win. His body was aroused by her very presence, suddenly lost in the past, when they had carved their initials into the trunk of the old oak tree as a symbol of their love. Had she already forgotten their promise to each other?

  “Tom,” her voice sounded ever so soft, as she spoke his name.

  He recovered his composure and stared at the concerned look on her face.

  “Tom, pray, whatever is the matter? You look so serious.”

  “It is nothing; I was just thinking how quickly you have regained your riding skills… Or were you making fun of me all along so that you could win the race?” he smiled.

  She gave a quirky little smile in return. “Ah, that is something you will never know, Mr Bradley, will you?”

  She was a complete mystery to him. Where once he had been able to read her like a book, she was now akin to the blank pages of his journal. She had definitely changed; although he could still see the glimpses of some of her youthful traits, there was also something, something very different about her.

  Maria had become very aware of the tension of emotions building between them and she could feel the magnetism that his body gave out, drawing her to him. Suddenly, she was finding it hard to breathe. His unguarded eyes swam with a mixture of raw longing that he showed so openly and she was sure that those same feelings were reflected in her own.

  His face was now only inches above hers, and she could see the tiny bristles on his jaw where he’d shaved. She saw the torment on his face as if he wrestled with an inner demon—trying to decide between the right and wrong course of action. No, her mind screamed out… Kiss me, kiss me! Don’t fight it! She had never wanted anything so much as she wanted to feel his mouth upon hers now; she longed to feel the texture of his smooth lips moving against her own, to share the very breath that was his. She didn’t want him to think; she just wanted him to act upon his desire. She even wet her lips in preparation and saw how his gaze moved to her mouth to follow the movement of her tongue. Kiss me, kiss me now! She repeated her silent plea before he suddenly dropped his gaze from hers.