REMEMBRANCE Read online

  She smiled up at him, “I am sure that is a great shame, for there is nothing more tantalizing than a ball.”

  “Yes, yes you are right. I am sure that, come tomorrow, the fortunate folk that are here this evening will have much to say.”

  As she weaved between another couple that also took the floor, so that she could moved back within Mr Grainger’s range, she heard him say, “Well, may I be so bold as to note that there are a number of pretty walks around Whitmore and I would very much like to gain a better acquaintance with you?”

  She looked at him, a little shocked that she had been wrong after all; he was just like the others. Where the men in this dream just like the ones in the real world, always thinking of ways to manipulate a lady in to giving them her favours? “Err… I am sure, Mr Grainger that you would have to ask my uncle’s permission.”

  They continued with the dance and Maria found her eyes drawn to the man in the blue velvet coat. Of all the men in the room, she had an interest in only one, and he seemed to be avoiding her. She hoped that he hadn’t taken offence at her boldness earlier. With a disappointed sigh, she forced herself to smile at her dance partner as forgotten memories of this life invaded her mind, filling their images before her like the reel of film, until she no longer knew what was real and what was not.

  The evening passed all too quickly, and soon, the great hall fell quieter as the guests started to take their leave.

  “So my dear, how have you found your evening?” Maria’s uncle asked, as he approached her, accompanied by Thomas. She was finally alone, sipping the contents of her glass. It had been the only time during the entire evening that she had managed to grab a few minutes to herself without being approached by some gentleman or other, pestering her for a dance. She sighed with contentment and wriggled her toes in the silk slippers; she had never known her feet to ache so much. Now, just when she had started to relax from the onslaught of attention, she was facing Thomas once more. As he stood before her, the will to speak seemed to have evaded her for the second time this evening.

  “So, have you, my dear?”

  She drew her gaze away from Thomas to look at her uncle quizzically.

  “Enjoyed your evening?” her uncle repeated, realizing that she was lost in her own thoughts.

  “Oh, it has been magical Uncle, thank you,” she exclaimed enthusiastically.

  Thomas watched her reaction to the question, noting the flush on her pale cheeks, the pinkness of her lips, the sparkle that could be found in her eyes. Could this really be the girl he had last seen when she was 14? Still, had he not seen her immature beauty way back then? She had turned out far more intoxicatingly handsome than he had ever imagined. He felt the pull at his chest; after all these years she still managed to make him feel this way. He had spent all evening trying to put some distance between them, and although he had succeeded in doing so, he had failed miserably where matters of the heart were concerned. So, throughout the entire evening, he’d had to suffer in silence as he’d watched her dance with every young man in the room.

  Dudley had made slight comments every now and then, before disappearing completely. Thomas was sure that a rendezvous with a young woman was the cause of his absence and new that it would be well in to the day before Dudley sought his company again.

  “What do you say Thomas?” Sir John broke into his thoughts.

  “Sorry… what was that?” he said, slightly embarrassed that they were both looking at him.

  “I was just saying that young Miss Austin has made quite an impression on a few of our young bachelors this evening.”

  “Err… yes I believe she has,” he replied to her uncle, but the words were addressed to her directly.

  She had certainly made an impression on him! Still, that was six years ago, when he was 18. That had been beneath the old oak tree by the Crystal Pool and he had never recovered since.

  Maria was sure that she saw something in his face as he looked upon her. A little flicker of excitement ebbed its way through her body.

  “Capital, capital,” Sir John chanted, “Then I believe that you have truly been introduced back into society my dear.”

  Thomas looked nervously from Sir John to Maria, for he knew the true meaning behind her uncle’s words. Unbeknownst to Maria, he would soon have her married off to the most eligible bachelor. He had hoped that Sir John would have given her some time to re-adjust after her absence, to become re-acquainted with her friends and home before pursuing a suitable match for her.

  Dawn was just raising its sleepy head when the last of the guests, tired, but contented, climbed into their carriages.

  Maria stifled a yawn, but was too excited to go to bed. She feared that, once she closed her eyes, her magical night would disappear and the handsome gentleman would be gone from her life forever.

  “Thomas, we are to have a picnic on Upper Bank on Sunday, if the weather stays fine. Would you be so kind to honour us with your presence?” Sir John announced.

  “A picnic, oh how wonderful!” Maria exclaimed.

  Thomas couldn’t help but smile at her eagerness. She was like a child in so many ways, as if she was seeing and hearing things for the first time, “Yes, Sir John, I would be honoured.”

  “That’s settled then. I shall inform Mrs Clegg to see to everything that we would need.”

  Reluctantly, Thomas joined Maria on the straight-backed chesterfield sofa. He had hoped that he could have taken the chair, but Sir John had already lowered his heavy frame in to it and settled down as if he was not going to move for the next hour or so. So, now, here he sat, mere inches away from the woman that took his body on a journey of a new meaning. Everything about her made his body tense with anticipation—the brush of her skirts against his leg, the smooth skin of her arm that ever so slightly touched his jacket and—owing to his height—the view of the gentle swell of her breasts above her gown.

  He swallowed hard, shifted a little in the seat and tried to control the rise of desire that made him hard with need for her.

  “Are you alright Tom?” Maria asked, seemingly concerned.

  “Er... Yes I’m fine,” he forced the smile while his body raged on. “And how have you enjoyed your first evening back in society?” he almost whispered. He desperately needed some kind of distraction, anything to take his mind off the real issue that was bothering him.

  He knew that he had picked the wrong subject as soon as he saw her face light up, causing his lust to go in to over drive. “Oh Tom, it has been simply amazing. I wanted it to last forever,” she replied passionately.

  He smiled adoringly at her. Her abundance of energy and almost childlike enthusiasm were infectious and he too, suddenly realised that he never wanted this night to end.

  “It is almost dawn; shall we go outside and watch the sunrise?” she asked, jumping to her feet. “Come Tom, let us go!”

  He too stood up. She sounded like that young girl he’d known, eager to experience all life had to offer. He so very much wanted to see the sunrise, but he knew that it was not proper for them to be alone, and his body had reminded him of a very good reason why he, in particular, should not be left alone with her. His face must have shown his disappointment, for Maria’s smile faded on her lips.

  “Tom?” she questioned.

  “I… forgive me, Miss Austin… but…”

  “Oh, do not be a fool man,” Sir John’s voice cut in, “have you not been good friends for long enough? Go, watch your sunrise.”

  Thomas showed his surprise in Sir John’s offer, for he knew as well as Thomas did that it was not fitting for a young lady to be alone in presence of a young man until a better acquaintance had been established. He had been counting on Sir John to put an end to his torment and refuse them, and then he would be free to take his leave and his lust with him.

  Sir John noticed the young man’s hesitation. “Go, the pair of you! Otherwise, you shall miss it all together, and I shall probably never hear the last of it from young Miss Au
stin here. Be gone with you!” he waved his hand at them.

  Moments later, they sat upon the grass ledge in the garden, letting their legs dangle over the small stone wall that dropped to the willowy grass field below. They were just in time to see the orange and red ball of fire come over the tops of the trees, casting its illuminating colour over the landscape. The long grass rippled like a red river in the light of the new day and the trees became silhouettes of giant creatures with twisted arms against the colourful sky. The birds called out in harmony, welcoming the start of a new day and the air was filled with small flying insects awakening from their sleep. The air held a cool dampness and a fine mist spread out like a blanket, yet to be warmed by the sun.

  Mesmerised by the way the colours glowed and changed on her pale skin, Thomas could not take his eyes off Maria; his body was pulsing in all sorts of strange ways as he drank in the sight of her. It had been too long; he had missed the company of his dearest friend during the past six years. How he had missed their sunsets, which had never been quite the same since she left. This was to be their first ever sunrise together and he wanted it to be as magical for her as it was for him, as he watched the flickering change of emotions that crossed her face.

  “Is it not beautiful?” she said, letting out a deep sigh.

  “Yes, it is truly beautiful,” he replied, his gaze never moving from her.

  * * * * *

  Later, she sat at the dark wood dressing table, looking dreamily at her image. Oh how great she felt—happier than she had been in such a long time. Although she danced for the better part of the evening, she was surprised to feel tired, for she did not know if one was supposed to feel tired in a dream. Could it be something that the mind conjured up to keep in step with reality? She didn’t want to close her eyes for fear that she would wake up. Tom was the most amiable man she had ever met; he teased her and made her laugh. His beautiful eyes had held a distant longing in their depths and it stirred a deep emotion within her that she had not felt in a long time; her heart fluttered at the thought of seeing him again. Oh how she could lose herself completely in the strong arms of this man! She was drawn to him, his warmth enticing her to get closer.

  Tonight had been everything that she had ever dreamed of—a magical fairytale, a beautiful memory to tuck away in her mind for her to withdraw anytime she wanted and re-live it time and time again. Tom had been everything she would have picked in a man had she been in the real world—strong, handsome, and good-humoured. Yes, he was her fairytale prince and, even if for just one night, she had been his princess. To wake now to reality was going to be a shock to the system and she was already willing herself to continue with this story the next time she closed her eyes and slept.

  She sighed contentedly, no longer full of frustration, but energised by real, honest to god joy. Although she had never believed when people talked about love at first sight, she knew that, if she closed her eyes, she would see his face. She smiled as she recalled the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he did that now familiar crooked smile, the sparkle of genuine adoration in his eyes when he looked at her, the way a stray lock of blond hair couldn’t be tamed and fell against his brow. Yes, it seemed that love at first sight really existed. Had she unwillingly been swept into that dream void and fallen in love with him?

  That was just her luck, to pick a fantasy man over a real flesh and blood one. How was she ever going to resume her real life now that her mind wanted to reside here, with Tom? She knew only too well the hurt of wanting something and having it thrown back in your face. Had she not proved that with Richard? No, she wouldn’t let that lowlife invade her thoughts and ruin probably the only night in which she felt truly and joyfully happy.

  She needed a distraction! She glanced at the delicate objects on the dresser top—a bottle, a little pot of face powder, a lovely ornate hair brush, a quill. A quill-didn’t they used to use those for writing in these times? She pulled open a drawer and then another until she found what she hoped she would—a journal and a pot of ink. Collecting her little treasures, she went to sit in the middle of the large bed, and began to write everything that she could remember about the evening.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Maria turned her head on the soft pillow, yawning and stretching her limbs. She felt completely rested and relaxed. As she slowly opened her eyes, it took a few seconds for things to come into focus. Her head ached terribly; she seemed to be getting many headaches lately—it must be from stress, she thought.

  She glanced around the room and was sure that there was something amiss, but she didn’t know what. The walls were still covered in the familiar pink and white wallpaper, her small white dresser sat at the end of the bed and her brown teddy was still where she last remembered it to be. So, why did she have the feeling that all was not right? As far as she could remember, she had slept soundly.

  Sitting up, she saw that Margaret had been in and left a cup of tea; she picked it up and started sipping at the liquid, still frowning, for she was sure there was something that she should remember.

  So what was her plan today? Endless hours of looking at the paper-peeled walls, long walks around the grounds, a day of listening to nothing more than silence that filled this huge house. Ha, just another day in the boring life of Maria Austin—what a joy! She could see if her gran was about, but she seemed to prefer to keep to herself. Maybe she could take a walk into the village, have a coffee, and visit the library? Yes, that’s what she would do, but not before taking a long shower.

  “M…” The sound of her name suddenly floated hauntingly in the air. Wide-eyed, she looked about the room across the rim of her cup, only to find it as it was moments earlier. She shook her head with a smile, sure that, once again, her imagination was really running wild, as it had been ever since she had arrived here. “M…” she heard the ghostly whisper again. Slowly, she placed the cup back down on the side table and swung her feet to the floor to rise from the bed.

  The girlish giggle echoed as if it was in her head, making the muscles in her legs go numb. It sounded so close, even though she knew that she was alone in the room. The old wooden door creaked on its hinges as it opened slightly and made her jump. God, she had to get a grip! Old houses made many strange noises, she noted to herself. Suddenly, the sound of movement could be heard on the other side of the dark wood.

  “M, where are you?” it was almost a whisper, but it was enough to cause her heart to race in her chest. Who was this man that called to her with the softness of his voice, enticing her with its allure. It was as if she had heard it before but couldn’t place it.

  Carefully, trying not to make any noise, she tiptoed across to the door. Her wide- eyes surveyed the area opposite the staircase before turning slightly to the left to glance along the landing. Suddenly, a white flash of fabric whisked the air in front of her, which brought a chill to the skin on her face.

  “M, where are you?” the voice had a playful hint to it now and the sound of stifled giggling was behind her. Maria turned back into her room to see a young woman standing by the whitewashed dresser and her mouth dropped open with shock.

  “Shush,” the image before her placed a finger to its lips.

  Maria couldn’t have said anything even if she wanted to. The air had caught in her throat; she stared blankly at the opaque figure of the youth dressed in a long white dress. Her hair was the colour of the sun and her complexion was deathly pale with startling green eyes that seemed to look straight through her. She was sure that she was holding her breath; the blood in her veins froze as her brain tried to comprehend what it saw.

  “I know that you’re here,” the voice taunted from the hall.

  Again, the young woman giggled and then, as if in slow motion, her blurred figure ran towards Maria. The breath she was holding was suddenly forced from her lungs as the woman dematerialized through her body. For a few seconds, she stood completely dumbfounded, trying to comprehend what took place. When she finally regained her senses
, she turned, just as the shimmer of the woman’s skirts disappeared down the spiral staircase. Gaining her confidence, despite the shock of what she had just encountered, she followed with haste. As she reached the bottom of the staircase, though, the woman’s figure vanished through the closed sitting room door.

  With complete repudiation, Maria stopped in her tracks. She had heard of such encounters taking place, but had never, for one minute, thought that she would ever experience one first hand. As absurd as it sounded even in her own mind, she was left in no doubt that the image she had seen was, in fact, a ghost. Still, rather than feeling frightened by this knowledge, she was, in fact, surprisingly animated and intrigued by it.

  All out of breath, Maria finally burst into the sitting room, anticipation on her face at the thought of being faced with her apparition again. It was thus rather disappointing that she found her gran instead.

  “Ah, there you are, Maria. I hope you slept well,” she inquired pleasantly from the sofa.

  Maria entered further into the warmth of the room, as the fire crackled in the fireplace.

  “Err… yes, thank you,” her eyes darted around the room.

  “Are you looking for something dear?”

  “What?”

  “Are you looking for something?” her gran repeated.

  “Err… Yes-No, I mean no.” she stuttered, as she saw the look of intrigue on her gran’s face.

  “You must have been exhausted; we haven’t seen you since yesterday afternoon.”

  “You haven’t?” she said a little preoccupied.

  “No dear. I told Margaret not to disturb you; I thought that you needed the rest.”

  Confusion passed across her face. She couldn’t remember being in her room. She noticed that Gran was watching her intently, her grey eyes guarded, as if in thought. What was it about her that made her feel as if she didn’t really know her? She had been at the house a few days now and she had seen very little of her and Margaret. She wondered where they went during the day, for they did not seem to be in the house, which was always so silent. She noticed some form of emotion pass across the old woman’s face.